Catholic Exchange

Balancing the Sacred and the Secular

Written by

Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

in

I still believe in Santa Claus, not the whole North Pole concept complete with Rudolph of course, but the idea of Santa Claus as the spirit of giving. I know some people feel children shouldn't be allowed to believe in Santa Claus. In fact, my parents fell into that camp. From the earliest ages, I knew that my presents came from my parents and that Santa Claus was just a story. My mother did tell me not to tell other kids, though, so I wouldn't ruin the fun for them.

With my own young children, I have tried to maintain more of a balance. They know about St. Nicholas and that he is the real Santa Claus. They know about the spirit of giving and that we all help Santa Claus by making and buying gifts for other people. They definitely know that Christmas is about Jesus. We spend Advent getting ready for Jesus' birth. This year we are doing a Jesse Tree and reading daily from a little book of reflections on Advent for children every day. They will participate in the Christmas Eve pageant at Church as they have the past three years.

Secure in that knowledge, I don't feel bad that they still believe in Santa Claus and Rudolph. Their classmates still believe as well. In fact, at one point, I actually tried to tell them that Santa Claus as depicted in the popular media isn't real. I was rebuffed by a very strong, "Santa is real, Mommy!" After all, you can actually watch Santa's travels on the NORAD website! The secular trappings of the Christmas season are magical to children. While Jesus' birth should certainly be magical enough, the music on the radio, the beautiful tree (mostly covered with ornaments that they have made), the lights, making Christmas cookies, and dreaming of the presents that will be under the tree Christmas morning all add to their celebration of the season and bring joy into our cold, dark New England days. Truth be told, they help me enjoy the season as well.

I believe it is possible to balance the sacred and the secular during this time of preparation for Jesus' birth. The spiritual aspects are of paramount importance, but the other aspects are enjoyable as well. A child can believe in Santa and still understand that the reason we are getting the presents is to help celebrate Jesus' birth. I love the figurine of Santa bending in prayer over the Baby Jesus in the Manger because I think that it illustrates this concept so well. Even Santa (and especially the real Santa, St. Nicholas) knows the reason for Christmas. As adults we can spend ample time in spiritual preparation while still enjoying Christmas parties and gift giving. If we allow the secular traditions to enhance our celebration of the spiritual, then there is no conflict. It is only when we allow the secular to take precedence over Jesus that we run into difficulty.

Comments

  1. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thank you for this article.  I really like the way you have incorporated your explanations about Santa Claus into the bigger meaning of Christmas.  I have always wondered how best to handle this if I am able to become a mother through adoption, and I plan to borrow some of your ideas.  One thing that I struggled with in particular is how to answer questions about why Santa brings more presents to some children than others.  I will definitely use your explanation about how people help Santa by giving gifts.

  2. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Claire,

    Santa doesn't bring the exact same amount of presents to everyone because he isn't a socialist. Indeed, if he was a socialist, nobody would be getting anything. Do you understand that?

  3. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    No, I don't.  How does he decide which kids get more?  Is it because he likes some children better than others, or because some children are better than others?  If so, then why is it that a lot of really bratty kids get exorbitant amounts of gifts?  (Maybe this has contributed to their brattiness.) Furthermore, a 5 year old who asks why his rich friend down the street has more gifts than he does isn't going to understand the "Santa isn't a socialist" explanation.  I would rather tell my child that Santa has help from Mom and Dad, and each Mom and Dad differs in how many gifts they think their child should receive.  That explanation would work for us even if we were rich, because I don't believe in excess when it comes to gift giving whether we can afford it or not.

  4. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Patrice,

    It really is all about that balance of secular and sacred with sacred tipping the scales!  I love how you have reminded us that there can be great beauty in the secular amidst our sacred life.  God bless.

  5. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Claire, A lot of really bratty kids receive exorbitant amounts for Christmas?  Wow, you're very jaded and seem distracted by the material aspects of the tradition. How is it possible for every kid to receive the same amount of gifts??

    Only in places like North Korea or Saudi Arabia may you find every child receiving the same amount for Christmas.

  6. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    I never said it was possible or even desirable for every child to receive the same amount of gifts.  I really don't know why you insist on turning this into a political discussion.  I made an innocent comment about how this article gave me an idea of how to respond if my future child asks why Santa decided to bring her friend more than her.  Children sometimes notice and ask about this. When I was a teenager my friend's little brother asked why Santa brought his friends more presents, and his mother didn't have a good answer for him.  Why does my observation with the fact that there are bratty kids who receive exorbitant amounts of Christmas presents make me jaded?  It happens.  There are parents out there who spoil their kids, thus taking credibility away from the theory that Santa gives gifts to reward good behavior.  The fact that I'm aware of this doesn't mean that I'm jaded or that all I focus on is the material aspect of Christmas.  Honestly, I was just trying to compliment the author on something she said that gave me an idea for how I will handle a potential Santa issue if I am ever blessed with a child.  I really didn't expect my comment to be interpreted that I was trying to achieve equal gifts for all.  In fact, even if I were wealthy, I would try my best not to give my children excessive amounts of Christmas presents, because for many reasons I don't think this is in their best interest.

  7. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Claire, you sounded very jaded about "a lot of really bratty kids" and seemed distracted by the material aspects of the tradition. That's why I brought it up.

  8. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Yeah, you mentioned that already.  My question is:  why does my observation that there are plenty of bratty kids who get a lot for Christmas make me jaded?  Do you dispute that there are a lot of bratty kids who get a lot for Christmas?  Just look around the mall.  There are a lot of spoiled children in the world whose parents give them toys instead of spending time with them.  Noticing this does not make me jaded, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this observation.  And why does my idea of how to handle a potential question from a future child mean that I'm preoccupied with material aspects of the Santa Claus tradition?  I really resent your spin on a comment I made which was a compliment to the author.  I thanked the author for her article in general and for one of many points she made which I anticipate being able to use in the future.  What's so controversial about that?  Why does that make me a jaded, materialistic socialist?  Can't you take my comment at face value?  When I posted that this morning, I had no idea that this was going to start a heated debate.  I expect that when I comment on political articles.  I don't when I'm complimenting and thanking an author.  Give me a break, please.  I could really use one today.  If I were in the mood for criticism, I would have posted on the Romney article.  I'm not up for it today, which is why I kept my posts benign (or at least I thought they were, but apparently anything can be used to stir the pot).

  9. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Claire, I think you asked a valid question. I'm sure that at one point in time or another one of my four daughters probably asked me the same question: "Why did Jane and John get more gifts than we did?" and I probably said, "Gosh, did they?…" and deflected the question elsewhere.

    I have friends who are very well-off financially and they figured it all out very early on. Their children each receive three gifts just like Jesus did when he was born. I think that is a brilliant solution and I wish I'd thought of it before my kids came along!

    You are very thoughtful in your posts and questions. Whether God blesses you with children by birth or adoption (or both, as he did with us – two each way), you will be well-prepared! You are in my prayers.

    Just a funny aside, the other day I overheard our 7-year-old say to our 6-year-old, "You know, Mom is Santa… she gets all the gifts for us," to which our 6-year-old adamantly responded, "She can't be. There's NO WAY she could get around the whole world in one night. She doesn't even put us to bed until 8:30!" 

    Advent blessings to all.

    Gretchen

  10. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thank you, Gretchen.  I appreciate the humor!  I needed it today.

  11. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Hi Claire,

    Whenever God does bless you with motherhood, whether that be through adoption or natural means, you will be a wonderful mother. Honestly, my children have never asked why some get more than they do. They did ask how come I didn't buy them presents when I was buying for everyone else. Caught off guard, I told them that Mommy and Daddy help Santa Claus and that we buy the presents for them but that Santa Claus delivers them! They had no problem with that. I suppose that took care of the reason why they get what they get. Some get more; others get less. They have never been bothered by it. You will find that your children will come up with questions that you never even imagined and the ones you worry about may never come up! Just take it as it comes – every day of parenthood is an adventure 🙂

     

    Best wishes,

    Patrice 

  12. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    If your children ask you why bratty Becky and spoiled Sammy got more presents, then you have a bigger problem than just Santa.

    Why I think Santa is a socialist:

    His favorite color is red.

    He has elves working for him for next to nothing in payment.

    He never acknowledges or refers to God.

    He snoops around at night gathering information on people.

    He promotes getting something for nothing.

    Kids do wise up and then socialism and Santa are not attractive anymore.

  13. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    I don't think it's such a problem, Goral.  Children naturally come up with things like that.  If that's the worst thing my children ever ask me, I would consider myself lucky.

     

    Patrice, thank you for your encouragement. 

  14. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Patrice, this is a fine article!

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