Catholic Exchange

40 Reasons to Have Kids

Written by

Karen Edmisten

in

So, yesterday I mentioned this woman. She wrote a book detailing her "40 Reasons Not to Have Kids."

Today, I present:

40 Reasons to Have Kids.
(loosely based on her 40 reasons not to ….)

1. Desiring children with the man you love is as natural as breathing.

2. The experience of delivering a new life to the world is singularly exhilarating. If you fear pain, there's this lovely thing called an epidural.

3. Breastfeeding: it's not only economical, efficient, and good for the baby, but it releases hormones that relax and calm both mother and child, lulling both of you to sleep. Who wouldn't want a natural nap-inducer?

4. The world doesn't revolve around me and my daily desires.

5. Every human being has dignity and worth.

6. A child is an unbreakable bond between husband and wife. Love breeds love. And more love. And more. There's nothing more desirable than the father of your children.

7. A couple becomes a family — the whole becomes greater than its parts.

8. Having a child is a cooperation with the sacred.

9. Children are some of the most charming little people I know: full of wonder, curiosity and innate kindness. Properly nurtured, they become equally charming adults.

10. You get to read all the favorite books of your childhood all over again.

11. Children naturally grasp the lesson that people are more important than things.

12. Children teach us the freedom that comes with self-discipline and self-sacrifice.

13. The biggest drudgery is facing no one but myself day after day.

14. I am not ideal … why should I expect my children to be? Kids teach us the joy of unconditional love and acceptance.

15. I will inevitably disappoint my children because I am not perfect. But, along the way, I'll be able to teach them that — while nothing on this side of heaven is perfect — the journey and the perfection that awaits us are worth every moment of trial on earth.

16. To remain or become a self-centered, self-enclosed egotist: what horror!

17. Taking time to care for the gifts I've been given … yes, thank you.

18. Motherhood is a vocation: fulfilling, rewarding, and full of unpredictable surprises.

19. Families: they are a reflection of the Trinity.

20. Relive childhood and all of its innocent wonder and mirth.

21. To persist in saying "me first" is a sign of immaturity.

22. A child will ignite the fond memories of your own childhood.

23. While you cannot ensure that your child will be happy 100% of the time, the desire for her happiness is a good, admirable and unselfish thing.

24. The enchantment of being with one's children outweighs any and all other difficulties.

25. If you worry about sending them off to school, homeschooling is a delightful, intellectually stimulating option.

26. Do something to change the world. Have a child. Raise a saint.

27. Revel in the simplicity of a child's unconditional love and trust.

28. Parenting will soften your hard edges and sharpen your compassion and empathy.

29. Motherhood is an insight into one's soul. It's better than analysis.

30. Success is not defined only in terms of what one does for money. To succeed as a mother is beyond worldly success.

31. When your husband becomes the father of your children, a new man appears: fiercely loving but practical and still-logical, nurturing but fiercely strong and protective. You will fall in love with him all over again.

32. The child to whom you give life may be the one to fight the culture of death and the notion of a brave new world.

33. "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers." — Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

34. Children whittle away your time in ways that are ultimately beneficial: they have an uncanny knack for getting rid of the meaningless hobbies that used to consume you.

35. Watching a child grow into a caring, sensitive soul is a reward that cannot be measured in book sales.

36. It's an awe-inspiring thing to have a child and the experience of feeling, "I didn't think I could ever love anyone that much."

37. Already have a child? Have another. Siblings are the best birthday presents, Christmas presents, Father's Day presents, Arbor Day presents ….

38. Baby toes. Need I say more?

39. Okay, I'll say more. Watching your baby sleep: You didn't know that angels could be held in your arms.

40. Worried about money? What's worth more than a soul?

(This post also appears at my blog.)

Comments

  1. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thanks for your excellent list!

    Next time somebody asks why I have 11 kids I'll pass this along!

    As an addendum to #40 I add, "Worried about suffering (in pregnancy)?  What's 9 months compared to a human soul?

    I've also found that the best antidote to cynicism is… Children.  (I type that sentence as my 3 year old tiptoes down the steps to surprise me with a morning hug!)

    My soul grieves for a culture that rejects children.  I can hardly bear the implications of what that ethic reflects and the consequences for that society.

    Thanks for your words of encouragement and truth. 

     

  2. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Dear Karen:

    My Queen Sandra and I, have seven – human children; 5 boys (oh am I sexist) and two girls.  Two dogs, though, honestly, I foreswear paternity for them.

    1)  Of course, I and you can say.  Even as a father, changing diapers was as natural as saying, "I love you," to my Queen and to kiss her in front of our children.  Yet we  both know couples who, concertedly, do not have children.  I know of one who has horses, their "children".  Nice couple.  Yet, we are an anti-God society now.  So it's "natural" – yuk – not to want children.  In a word, as a society, we're committing suicide – seemingly not caring.  Ah, the "Tyranny of the Self," all this and the open sewer too. 

    2)  I was present at The Presentation of our last two, Abraham (19) and Isaac (16).  Abraham was born to Beethoven's 9th.  Isaac, I forget.  Other children: Tom & Paul, adopted with prior wife (complete  hysterectormy); Glenn, Susan, Jennifer by her prior.  Our current marriage in the Church, others nullified.

    3) Breast feeding.  Some of God's children do have a special "Place in the sun – and Son". 

    4) Really?  Golly!!  Having children can tend to make one humble, though my queen is still wondering…

    5) Agreed "seven times seventy." A woman's womb is a sanctuary, a "Lily of the Fields," whose arraignment can never be surpassed except by it's Creator. To me, Mother Theresa is – IS, not was, the most beautiful woman of the Twentieth Century.  Rushingly, this moral and spiritual premise of Judeo/Christianity is being denied by those who are essentially Marxists.  I was almost about to say, "except that they would reject the brutal methods of the last century."  Stay tune, however, for the next "steeled" episode of, "As Stalin, [surnamed, "Man of Steel" in Russian – or Georgian] Mao, and Hitler Return." To wit: Roe v. Wade, et al.  As you know, once an unborn infant's life "hangs in the balance," we're all not worth a farthing. All of us!

    6)  Life, what a beautiful choice.  Yes, in spite of the difficulties of raising children today (God, I'm so blessed to be 69 – years young).Our children have been – are – a blessing, albeit sometimes cloudily. Perhaps the greatest gift a father can ever give his children – is to love and respect their mom.

    7)  Bishop Sheen, my what a man, what a priest, authored "Three to Get Married," or "Three to Marry."  Either way, it rings true, as do the bells of Notre Dame Cathedral.  No words of mine could replicate his in this small booklet.  Read it.  Keep it.

    8)  If one does not cooperate with He Who Is, our Dad, we are poverty stricken.

    9)  As I was changing Isaac's diaper one day – hey fellas, no big deal – I just stopped.  I was rivited by the beautied order of his body.  The Holy Spirit simply touched me and I wept within my heart at the privilege of being – and of being a dad.

    10) I wish that I had kept them, though Curious George comes to mine. Actually, I can recoup them as there are two used book stores in Nampa, adjacent to Boise, ID.  Oh, do I love to peruse (hey, like the $10 word?) their dusty shelves.  One store does have a Children's Room; paradoxically, it is Upstairs, as we should always elevate our "loans" from our Dad.  A brother-in-law once lost his delightful Ann Marie to Lukemia in 1975.  Gill was more distraught than Olga his beloved wife.  Easily, I casually observed to Gill that all of our children – and our wives – are on loan to us.  Our sojourn, a crossed-born pilgrim are we, is not traveled alone.  Remember the "Footprints in the Sand" picture? 

    11) I told our Isaac once that, if our house were to burn down, I would not miss too many things.  I love to read – oh, those delicious books.  He replied, "What about me?"  "No, Isaac," I rejoined, "things!"

    12) No pain, no gain.  Poor Paris Hilton. Pray for her and others of like-situations.

    13) Permit my non-theologically trained peabrain, but is Hell something like being by yourself in a dark, lifeless hole eternally?

    14) I do certainly beg your pardon!!  I know, you're not in the business of pardoning profoundly humble dads.

    15) "That's not fair," they say.  Yep.  Sorry, guess what life is not? But His justice is equisite.

    16) See #13.

    17) Play time!  Just being THERE.  Chastise them, right on.  But show them that they are loved.  I do deeply and sincerely wish that I had showed them my abiding love more often.  Oh, the "what-ifs" of history.

    18)  I'll pass!

    19)  Father, Son, Holy Spirit – all three in One; as it was in the beginning – in spite of our failings and sins, He still loves us.  In spite of their failings and sins, my Queen and I still love them.  We know not how to express it!

    20) Oh, yes.  Tom (our oldest – 40) knew that a banana was a "babamae," and still does.  Isaac (16) at the ripe old age of 5, casually observed that he was his brother's son (Abraham is his closest siblling).

    21) What, "Me"?

    22) I remember that, one Christmas eve, as we three children were opening presents, my dad said, "I think I hear something in the backyard."  From 0 to 100 in a nanosecond did I casually traverse the fifty feet to our backyard, only to see more presents on the ground.  I looked up into the beautiful starred sky of Los Angeles (prior to the assault of the Smog Monster) and simply wondered a wonderment that He could move so fast.  And I thank and praise my dad for giving me that scrumptious gift, second only to ice cream.

    23)  Absolute happines is in Heaven, residing in the Temple of His Word. But, yes, happiness without too much emphasis on "things" of this world.

    24) Being with one's children can/should elevate a parent to the children who wanted to be with Jesus. 

    25) In today's pedagocical environment, even with many "Catholic" schools – that's a no-brainer for those capable of it. 

    26) I learn v-e-r-y……s-l-o-w-l-y.  I wished I would have earlier prayed deeply that at least one of our seven children would embrace Him via the priesthood or religious.  However, with the last two brats, er, children (boys), I casually told them, "I'll mentioned this only one time, have you ever thought of becoming a priest?"  I do believe that ALL parents ought to pray for their children's HOLINESS!  "Well, Phil, what would you like your boys to be, doctor, lawyer, candle stick maker?  My friend, matters little to me."  I do pray, as does my Queen, that they will all deeply desire to be holy!  "Dear Jesus, make our hearts like unto Thine."

    27)  I am a fool of a parent if I do not take time to wonder – just wonder at the Lilly that loves me with the unconditional love that is second only to Jesus, our Friend. I just wonder. My first name, Philip, in Greek means "lover of horses," or so I've been told.  And the horse, almost any horse, is so beautiful to me.  Foolishly, I try to figure the horse out, i.e., why it is so beautiful. Could it be the anatomy or it's color or the way it prances or races?  Words fail.  Mr. Poet I am not.  It's just a beautiful mystery. When I was a little tike, my mom took me to the movies (we had just crawled out of the cave and …).  At one point she had to use the restroom and had left me near the candy bar.  To me, she was gone an eternity.  I started to cry and was comforted by strangers who bought me popcorn (oh, that lovely absolute necessity of the movies).  She did return, not to rescue me from of strangers, (folks, that was a different era when and where strangers were trusted – TRUSTED – as we should trust Jesus, Mary, and Joseph), and she comforted me.  To love unconditionally and to trust unconditionally – what a gift that my Queen has.  

    28) The first one or two children will either commit you to an aslyum or…After that, gentle readers, it can be a piece of cake, preferably carrot cake with lots of ice cream.  "Spilled the milk Jack?  Oh well, just mop it up," you tell your 3rd, 4th, … child, as you reach for the cattle prod. Remember, children's mistakes and foibles are nothing compared to their parent's.

    29) Thank God for moms.  His and ours.

    30) Donald Trump is poverty stricken and living in an open sewer compared to the consummate heart of a loving mother. 

    31)  Agreed.  Yet I have many regrets in this area of my life.

    32)  It does not matter what contribution your child(ren) makes to the Children of God on earth.  Maybe the child will be another Dr. Salk.  Then, perhaps, the child will be a simple, loving (in love first with God, then one's spouse, then one's children – in that order or no order) parent embracing the common chores and events of life in an uncommon way. Like a father gently picking up his infant child instead of brutally shaking the near-innocent human merely because the child is crying.

    33) When I tell a stranger how many children we have, there is at times That Look!  "My, you've been a busy boy, haven't you?"  is oft the reply; not, "how nice to have so many children." Many years ago, a brother in law told me that, when his family went to a restaurant, he was a little embarrassed.  (This was prior to our having our seven children).  I shot back and said, "Gill, don't ever be embarrassed about your children – never; they are beautiful children of God; of course, Gill, you and Olga probably played Canasta during "those moments".  Folks, I am not a master of subtlety or oft-not a velvety soft voice.  My bane. And my Queen's. 

    34) I lost my first wife and one of our two adopted children by my stamp collecting; spent more time with those colored pieces of paper than with them.  Parents, can you ever learn from my sins?

    35) Ours is a callously abrasive and thuggery age.  As a society, we care not for God or His family.  To raise a child to be tender and loving and respectful to those he meets – my God, what a Rose to behold.  Yet, you know folks, there are so many good kids out there (remember, I'm 69).  And very confused kids from broken families.  Pray for the latter esp.  And for me.  Remember always to pray – esp. The Rosary!!

    36) Fathers, too, experience this and do not, do not, do not, long for the day the child moves out.  It has to be.  Yet..   We pray The Rosary every day (almost) esp. for our children and grandchildren (and their families).

    • I Wish. I Pray. I Hope. All adults capable of having children – inside wedlock – will do so.  And not just one!  

    37) I cannot fathom the one-child household; almost not really a "home."  I don't know if any studies have been done on the proposition, "Do single children regret not having siblings?"  Has there been?  Do they?  Things!! See my response #11.

    38) Nope!

    39) We all sense very, very deeply that the nearest "thing" next to God on earth, is an infant, as they have not reached any age to do/think any evil.  Esp. as they sleep.  We naturally – most of us? – gravitate towards that child.  As the plants follow the sun, so should we follow our Son, once too wrapped in swaddling clothes and sleeping in a manger. 

    40)  Money?  What's that?

    Respectfully, or otherwise, submitted.

       

     

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