Catholic Exchange

Where has the Innocence Gone?

Shopping is, perhaps, one of my least favorite things to do. Dressing rooms. Long lines, rude customer service. You name it, I can't stand it.  Shopping online, however, has put a new spin on things, but alas, sometimes, it's necessary to physically go shopping.

The other day I was in a department store looking for something for my friend's new baby. After I found a cute baby outfit, I figured since I was already in a department store I should pick something up for my little cousin. She's an incredibly precocious six-year-old with a keen sense of what is right and wrong, and she's very hip. So, I meandered over to the little girls section. What I saw horrified me.
I was absolutely appalled and disgusted by what I beheld: low-cut tops, halter dresses, mini-skirts, low-rider jeans, and perhaps the most offensive, thong underwear. These "clothes" were made for little girls like my sweet little cousin and thousands of other children. I stood with my jaw gaping wide open in disbelief. I shut my eyes for a moment hoping that when I opened my eyes again it would vanish. It did not. "What the hell?" I said each word slowly and carefully.

Hell, is right. What I saw before me was hellish. Incredibly satanic. You might think I am being melodramatic, but think carefully.
What is going on? Why do six- and seven- year olds need to look "sexy?" This is sick, yet it marks the very reality that we are living in.  Satan must be reveling in this distortion and perversion of innocence. Apparently the sexualizing of children and teens is not a new phenomenon. I was told recently that this is old news. Should I be surprised? Perhaps, not. But angry, yes.

What are children going to learn? Is it any surprise that many youths are involved in sexual activity?

I was lamenting this to a father of a five year-old girl, who told me how hard it was to find a one-piece bathing suit for his daughter this past summer. While some parents are blithely indifferent to this type of attire, he said he was alarmed. These types of clothes do not allow children the opportunity to learn about chastity and modesty.

Modesty is something that needs to be taught from an early age, otherwise it will be difficult to grasp. It would be asinine to expect a child to understand these concepts if they are given indecent clothes. Call it fashion, call it a fad, give it any name to try and justify it, but in the end it's horrifying and must be stopped.

As I walked out of the store and sat in my car with a heavy heart, I thought to myself. I just don't understand. I just don't get it. Why? What kind of world am I living in? The clothes that I saw that day quickly brought me back to the reality I'm living in.

It is a disgrace and is offensive – offensive to the children wearing them and offensive to the Creator of these children.

During her apparition to Lucia, Jacinta and Francisco in Fatima, the Blessed Mother warned that "Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much." She was right.

Girls (young and old alike) need to be told that they are beautiful and they don't need "sexy" clothes to be beautiful or desirable. We need to tell our girls they are beautiful princesses of the great King who wants nothing more than their total happiness. They need to know they are loved unconditionally by their Creator and dressing immodestly will neither bring happiness nor love.

Please join me in writing letters to the stores that sell such outrageous attire for children and plead with them not to carry such merchandise.

Comments

32 responses to “Where has the Innocence Gone?”

  1. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    This deterrioration in fashions for little girls has been working for a very long time. When my daughter was 7 (13 years ago), the "sexy" styles were just beginning to hit the racks. Enter Brittany Spears, and now you see where it has gone. Still, although I've watched the styles get progressively immodest, I had the same jaw-dropping reaction just a year ago when I spotted padded and push-up bras in the girls department. There are simply not enough people making noise about this. After all, for these little girls, if their parents were not purchasing this junk for them, the stores wouldn't be carrying it.

    If you haven't seen the awesome work of the Pure Fashion program, check them out at http://www.purefashion.com. This group was started by mothers and daughters as disgusted as you were, Henrietta, at the so-called choices.

     

    "The Catholic Church frames the Christian life as one in which you must exercise virtue—not because virtue saves you, but because that's the way God's grace gets manifested." Dr. Francis J. Beckwith

  2. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thongs for little girls!  Unbelievable.  Could there be a connection between this and child pornography?  Sexualizing little girls is very dangerous. 

  3. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    I would wager that not many dads are buying this stuff and 4 year olds don't usually buy their own clothes.  That means the number of mothers are sick or indifferent is staggering.  And what kind of parent or grandparent would buy the Bratz dolls and stuff?  

  4. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Well let's see…. Who's to blame? Well, if you look at political correctness, it's obvious the 3 inflated "victim" classes you are not supposed to criticize are gays, blacks and jews.

    It's just as obvious these same ones foisting political correctness on the populace by media manipulation combine it with "merchant"dising to sexualize your children. Figure it out.

  5. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Why would you say that blacks and Jews are responsible for immodest clothing?  Gays maybe, although I don't know why gay men would have any interest in little girls looking sexy, since apparently females hold no sex appeal to them.  Major pornographers and marketers don't tend to be black or Jewish.  Your blanket statement is incredibly bigoted (other than the part about the gays, who clearly  have an agenda when it comes to certain aspects of marketing).  I don't subscribe to political correctness, but I also don't subscribe to scapegoating entire groups of people as being responsible for an epidemic that there are plenty of whites who also promote.  Have you ever looked at who purchases pornography and child porn?  It's not just blacks and Jews.  

  6. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    This is a problem that has roots in every sector of society. What I find amazing, is these self-same supporters of (by promoting and buying) these types of immodest fashions and providing birth control to younger and younger children in our schools are the ones who cry out and demand that a six- to seven-year-olds be suspended from school for "sexual harrassment" if they behave in any kind of a provocative way (whether by word or action). What do they expect??!! It is the ADULT sector of our society who have let these things get out of hand, and then punish the children instead of pointing the fingers at themselves for sending the wrong messages and causing these problems. And these innocent children who are exposed to these sexualizing messages every day are caught in a vicious cycle in not knowing quite how to behave properly, because the ADULTS have lost the sense to teach right from wrong and live accordingly. It makes me cry for our children.

  7. Guest Avatar
    Guest

     Claire, you didn't figure out what I was saying and went off on a tangent with charges of bigotry, which is usual for people who can't handle the truth. I'm just trying to inform others how media and "merchant"dising are being used to sexualize their children. I'll answer that bogus statement of yours and give two more clues:

    In the postwar era, America's most notorious pornographer was Reuben Sturman, the 'Walt Disney of porn.' According to the US Department of Justice, throughout the 1970s Sturman controlled most of the pornography circulating in the country … By the mid-80s he owned over 200 adult bookstores … It was said that Sturman did not simply control the adult-entertainment industry, he was the industry.

    The contemporary incarnation of Sturman is Steven Hirsch, a 43-year-old Jewish Clevelander who has been described as the 'Donald Trump of porno.' The link between the two is Steve's father, Fred, who was a stockholder-cum-lieutenant to Sturman. Today Hirsch runs the Vivid Entertainment Group, which has been called the Microsoft of the porn world, the top producer of 'adult' films in the US. His specialty was to import mainstream marketing techniques into the porn business.

    Now can you guess?

  8. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Is the Tri-lateral Commission involved?

  9. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    And who buys the porn?  Is it just blacks and Jews? Without a market, this industry would have wilted away long ago.  People from all walks of life support the porn industry.  You haven't mentioned any black pornographers yet.  Just because two Jewish men are big pornographers doesn't mean that you need to blame the whole industry on "the Jews".  These men are not representative of all Jews, or even the majority of them.  I'm not in the mood for guessing games.  If you're going to blame an entire industry on one group of people, you need to qualify your statement.  

  10. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Claire,

    I have no idea what Lazar is saying; and, I don't believe in broad brushing groups either.  But, when I was teaching in an all black, inner city school 20 years ago (TWENTY!  Wow!  I'm old…….) the kids wore the "gansta" clothing with exposed underwear.  In fact, there was a rule about "no underwear showing!"   Now, that style has infiltrated the popular culture.  I can hardly find clothing for my teen aged boy that doesn't expose his "unexposables".  I also know that the african american music industry and music video industry are infamous for promiscuity and fornication.  It's a real problem apparently.  (I saw a TV documentary on it.)

     There are some things about which I post that I feel certainty.  This is not one about which I know a lot…I'm just trying to figure out where Lazar is coming from….and I know MUCH porn is purchased by the white man sitting next to you at the symphony, etc…

    My In Conversation With God reflection for yesterday talked about how indifference to venial sins can lead to lukewarmness and loss of faith.  Given our culture, I think there's plenty of blame to go around for the loss of innocence of children…even soccer moms, yes those icons of civil society, share blame! 

  11. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Very true, Elkabrikir.  There is definitely enough blame to go around.  And I know what you mean about the exposed boxer shorts.  It has certainly become a trend.  

         Lazar posts a lot, and I guess based on his previous posts I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and called his remarks bigoted (sorry, Lazar).  The way he phrased it just really shocked me.  Maybe I'll feel differently after he elaborates.   

  12. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    The dads may not be buying the stuff, but they are certainly allowing their girls to wear it. Dads must be the main guardians of their daughters' purity, especially as the girls become middle schoolers. It is MUCH more effective when dad, in an understanding yet firm manner, explains why certain fashions are unacceptable. It is absolutely mind-boggling what some dads allow their teenage daughters to wear–are these men simply weak, or are they in some twisted way proud that their daughters look so "hot?" THey can't possibly NOT know how other men are looking at her.

    We had clothing "limits" even when our daughters were very small: for example, no spaghetti straps whatsoever, even as babies. It doesn't mean they have to wear ankle length skirts; but our teen is recognizing that the junior section clothing is usually very cheaply made in comparison to misses clothing, and she can usually find something there because there are so many 30-, 40-, 50 something women trying to look like teens or 20-ish!

  13. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    There are the suppliers and consumers of porn and it takes both to have a market. The hard porn consumers are men, plain and simple. The soft porn consumers are women. The suppliers are also both but not across the board as the consumers. The three groups that Lazar mentioned win gold, silver and bronze. They are the engine of the porn industry. The gays have a grip on style and apparel. The blacks control the vulgar music and dance culture, while print and video promotion comes from the ranks of the Jews. Try as you might you can't get around this. You can disregard these facts as you can disregard that terrorism is currently being perpetrated by radical Moslems. It doesn't change the facts. Internet porn is growing exponentially. Look up one of the tycoons -Seth Varshavsky. Draw your own conclusions. I also have an aversion to broad-brushing because it hurts the innocent in these groups.

    When our clergy got broad-brushed for the actions of so few there was no outcry of injustice from anyone. Maybe we need to do the same thing to these groups to get them to stop dumping sewage onto society. To say we're all to blame is to throw our hands up in impotence.

  14. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Claire, dear, you must be tired.  Lazar confuses me, too, but the point I picked up on was "'merchant'dising".  I think, in his round-about way, he's trying to point us to the PCs who want all women–from the earliest age–to become sexy and hot-looking to be used to distract adults from what's really going on in America.  I think the "blacks and Jews" remark was more of an attention-getting device.

    Okay, Lazar; how close did I get?  (P.S. Are you sure you're not lwall using a different name????)

  15. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    The children are being exploited in a sexual manner by deviant media combining with "merchant"dising.

    Al Goldstein, the publisher of Screw magazine, said (on lukeford.com), 'The only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks. Catholicism sucks. We don't believe in authoritarianism." Pornography thus becomes a way of defiling Christian culture and, as it penetrates to the very heart of the American mainstream its subversive character becomes more charged…

    Al Goldstein, the publisher of Screw magazine, said (on lukeford.com),

  16. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    I was going to bring up Goldstein but I figured it would come out later, but not this soon. This bloated industry goes hand in hand with contraception and abortion and no censorship. The shyster lawyers from the ACLU do a stellar job in protecting all of it.

    Don't encourage Lazar in this because I'm sure he has a stockpile of ammunition that is just sickening. I don't see anything round-about about it. It's direct and dirty. Trust the men on this. Contrary to the popular notion out there, men are the real victims of porn.

  17. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Wow I lead a sheltered life! I never heard of or seen screw magazine and I don't care to. Looking at the number of so called Catholics in congress encouraging these so called blacks and jew deviants  I wonder which group has the highest percentage of deviants,

  18. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Goral, you are so very right that men are victims of pornography.  My husband says that all the time.

     

    Lazar, I see where you're going with that.  I still maintain that the Jewish pornographers are not good representatives of Jews in general.  They are the minority (unfortunately a influential and profitable one).  Most Jews do not have that type of animosity toward Catholics/Christians.  In fact, there are plenty of Jews who are on our side regarding the war on Christmas.  Just like the small minority of pedophile priests have given the priesthood a bad name, these Jewish pornographers have given Jews a bad name.  

     

    (I don't mean to say that I don't think Jews should find Christ and convert.  I just don't think that they're inherently evil.  Some of them, even without Christ, are more Christian than a lot of Christians.  The Orthodox Jews, especially, who would never have any part in porn, their women dress more modestly than any Catholic on the planet.) 

  19. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    "The Orthodox Jews, especially, who would never have any part in porn, their women dress more modestly than any Catholic on the planet"

    True. I'm definitely not saying all Jews are bad. But the Orthodox do have that nasty little habit of fire-bombing Christians in the Holy Land.

    If the jewish community doesn't stand up and say something about the Sturman's, Hirsch's and Goldstein's (the Disney, Trump and Gates of the porn industry), then they are equivalent to muslims who come out to protest any slight, but are strangely silent about hundreds of terrorist attacks.

     

     

    In the postwar era, America's most notorious pornographer was Reuben Sturman.

  20. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Looks to be dressed modestly enough to me. Is that a jail cell wall?

  21. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    That's true, Lazar.  They do need to speak out.  Silence in this area is negligent.

  22. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    One thing about skin exposure:  It's not necessarily inappropriate to show some on occasion.  My kids are competitive swimmers and show quite  a bit of leg, elbow, and shoulders regularly.  Why are they simply training partners to the males for 2 hours in the pool?  Lazar's point explains this phenomen:  "Merchant" dising and sexualizing of children through their clothing.  I think moms buy into this psychologically and materially as a way to vicariously pursue their own lost youth.  The mother's self esteem is the issue.

    I dress modestly, yet stylishly, as befits the matron (Kiss) that I have become.  I do try to have "fun" clothes so  I can witness to the world and  not draw attention to myself with  a drabby jean  jumper and Birkenstocks.  (My 15 passenger van , with prolife stickers  turns enough heads.)

    If the girls ever, which is rarely, come down with tummy skin exposed etc….my husband will make a light joke, "Where are you going, to belly dancing class??????"  Inappropriate clothing has NEVER been an issue at this household.  The girls have too much respect for themselves as persons not objects.  Aside from my role modeling and my husband's easy manner of encouraging proper dress, we have kept them from intense peer pressure situations such as middle school (homeschooling!).  Once they have gotten to High School, they've been well formed enough to represent themselves and our family appropriately. 

    I totally agree with Goral.  This issue is a facet of the Culture of Death.  Living Theology of the Body as a family and praying to BE a Holy Family daily is what has truly spared our daughters and son from over-exposing themselves.  The natatorium is the appropriate place to kick your bare legs after all….well, I've got a 19 year old ballerina….so on stage, in tights, is okay too!

  23. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    You're right Elkabrikir, the context is the key.  Kids certainly can't swim in a full body suit.  But I'm sure they cover up when they leave the pool.  And I'm sure that their bathing suits are much more modest than the average bikini at the beach.

  24. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Yep, you're right, Claire, however, Speedo et al have definately "sexied" up girl's suits around vis-a-vis the cut around the "rump".  My kids still where the full cut.  Even my daughter the dancer finds that cut easier to dance in (no need to pull at your seat.)

  25. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Well, someone would think you're Jewish Claire, to fight so strongly against my putting this very helpful information out there. That's ok. I enjoy the role of being 'the good guy'. hee…

    I believe the extremely sad Frown but important question of how children have come to be sexualized at such a young age has been answered for anyone reading this. All that's required is a little wisdom. I ask them…. What are they going to do about it?

  26. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    As a matter of fact, I am half Jewish. My father's side of the family is Jewish.  I, however, am a practicing Catholic.  (I'm a convert;  my mother's family is Protestant.)  I am not fighting you putting that info out there.  I have responded positively to all your posts except the first one.  That's because the first post made a sweeping statement blaming Jews and blacks for the sexualization of children.  Once you expanded on that and backed up your reasons, while making it clear that you're not against all Jews, just individuals who have contributed to this unfortunate set of events, I was grateful that you qualified the original statement that you made.

  27. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Fathers should protect their daughters, mothers should set the example. Unfortunately there are so many broken families with mothers "fishing" for a boyfriend or husband, setting bad examples dressing way too provocative and daughters with no father to protect them or with step-fathers who are unreliable. Fathers and mothers should be stopping their daughters at the door, turning them around and sending them back to their rooms to change into something decent to wear. Daughters need and want desperately for their fathers and mothers to protect them, no matter how much they throw a fuss, they want their parents love and protection, especially in public. Girls are going to test the limits because they want to know where the boundaries are so they know how far to go and where not to go. If no parent is continually showing them the boundaries, girls will let the media, their friends, t.v. etc. show them – very dangerous.

    Mothers should also set the example by dress and behavior and protect their daughters from the "roaming eyes" of strangers by making it clear (with looks of disapproval toward those who have roaming eyes) that they will not let their daughters be the object of lust. I have seen women many times use their daughters as pawns to gain men's attention, to find a man, in power struggles, etc. This is more prevalent than anyone would like to admit, but it is very common… so mothers are teaching their daughters to be promiscuous to gain what they want. This should never happen and is all very bad and destructive behavior that leads to so much trouble.
     
    There are men who feel they have the "right" to pornography and to lust after women and want women to stay vulnerable because they can prey on them more easily. They don't like it when women resist being made an object of lust or when women speak out against pornography or provocative dress, even for girls. It's not popular to speak or to resist and there is a lot of pressure from men to cave in to the promiscuous culture. There are men and women who will make life unpleasant if one goes against the sway. Like it or not, we as women are in a pickle, not liberated at all but more burdened and vulnerable than ever. (the easy divorce, dumping women to poverty for example)

     
    Ultimately it is Satan who orchestrates all of this and is at the root of all this evil and the break down of families, the break down of society, the breakdown of moral values. There are many who cooperate with evil or just turn their heads and look the other way, not complaining, not speaking out. It is a battle, it is a battle we fight for our sons and daughters, it is a battle we fight for Christ; that He told us we will be fighting to the last day.

  28. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Since we've been seeing some less than inspiring pictures in the comments, I would like to see an inspiring picture of elkabrikir's van. Submit it to our editor and maybe it'll be in the next pro-life article.

    I'm glad we're back to apparel. I always corrected my girls on how they dressed for church, many times they had to do a quick change while I waited in the car. My wife was OK with all of it. Men know what gets a guys mind wondering. Unfortunately these days the corrections are taken as patronizing or chauvinistic or controlling. Madison Ave. and its smut offshoots are just making it harder for us. If only all the moms and moms to be were as vigilant as the ones who commented here. 

  29. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thank you, Lazar, for enlightening and educating me.  I've seen for some time that, rather than "freeing" us, the libertine culture we live in merely objectivifies us–men,women and children.  However, I had no idea–at least partly because I didn't want to know–the details of those behind this trend.  I'm always willing to learn, and I sincerely appreciate the education.

  30. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    My men's group was just having a discussion about opportunity costs — you know, how the cost of buying a nicer house is that you lose the opportunity to buy a new car, or the cost of majoring in art history is that you no longer have the opportunity to become a NASA astronaut.

    The time and energy the Church has spent studying and answering bogus calls for optional celebacy, womyn priests, and whether abortion champions should receive Holy communion or not costs us the opportunity to do other things. Important things.

    Can you imagine if the Church could have used the opportunity to spend the money on lawyers to battle these sleazeballs posted above or to lay the legal framework to head-off research on human embryos instead of on lawyers to defend sexual deviants who were not identified and removed promptly? Opportunities lost.

    Dads are not the only ones who have to lead in guarding purity.  Our shepherds have to do these unpleaseant things when the wood is green. When the wood is dry, all is aflame.

  31. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    God loves you .

    Whoa! A lot of realization but the central one.

    We want our kids to be ‘little adults’ that we have less to work at to raise them. Grow ’em up quick as possible! Even to pretend that any is ‘adult’ is to wash our hands of raising (nurturing, developing, etc.) them. [And, yes, it is true that many large-scale-body folk are only pretend adults. E.g., why is porn called ‘adults-only’ stuff when it is designed for those arrested at bizarre, barely civilized, immature sexual stages?]

    As we have undermined motherhood, and then fatherhood, and then marriage with family – well, kids became an intolerable twenty-year problem, raising them. In my own case, until I got a paper route (and, then, two routes, plus any and every odd job to earn money; as well as household chores, etc., and other time consuming activities that took away from my primary youth job of ‘getting educated’ – and, I still made honor roll) I had no respect from my own father. I was to be a ‘little adult’ earning my own way, so to speak.

    Kids are viewed as liabilities – hence, contraception, abortion, increased abuse, child porn, child apparel fit as if for streetwalkers, etc., ad nauseam.

    And, of porn, by some studies, its users may include up to fifty percent of those across all sects who wear ‘the cloth of clericy’.

    Pause for nausea . . . then, one Our Father, one Hail Mary, one Glory Be, and all the rest of the prayers you have at hand.

    And – hug a child (two, three, every little one whose smile says ‘hug me’) and tell them how special their very childhood is to you. TELL ’em – they can’t realize that osmotically, you know. And, thank Mom and Dad for having their kids, and urge them to have as many as they can fit into closets and drawers and their hearts and arms.

    And, everybody, treat kids as kids. Some folks mistake me for a ‘child expert’, the way kids, from babes to teens, and I get along just because I treat them as very special little and growing kids.

    Kids – one of those [FEW] experiences in life I love more than naps; almost as much as Mass and Confession.

    Remember, I love you, too .

    In our delighted glory in our Infant King,

    Pristinus Sapienter

    (wljewell @catholicexchange.com or … yahoo.com)

  32. KCsimmons Avatar
    KCsimmons

    I was brought to this site to look for intelligent and spiritual conversation about my concerns with young people and teaching modesty. Particularly, helping young teens (of all cultures) learn that their bodies are to be valued and not used for attention…specifically, attention that will not warrant them the respect that they truly want.

    I was a little blown away, as a Christian, to find a discussion about “whose to blame” and to be hit with racist dialogue. I figured I would find meaningful and thoughtful guidance with the spirit of God and understanding and instead I am reading about a race or cultures of people being the “root” of the problem.

    Wow. Just as I look, in desperation, for guidance and advice, I find that a place of “Catholic Exchange” is pierced with some of our world’s other problems…simplistic thinking, racism, playing the victim.

    I, for one, have noticed a common problem with the pressure for teens to dress a certain way and for young women, in particular, to believe that “sexy” is the only way to feel beautiful or to be noticed….that problem is home. Whether it is a white teen from the suburbs with middle class or upper class parents (check out the series “Gossip Girls” and other shows targeting that audience) or if it is, as one writer puts it, the predominantly black, poor, urban youth who are heavily influenced by MTV (just as their white counterparts), it all is brought back to what is taught at home.

    Do parents do as mine did shop with their teens anymore? If not, why not? Do they teach the difference between what is “sexy” and what is “trashy” as my mom taught me so that I would know the difference when I dressed myself as an adult? Do many of today”s moms and dads know the difference themselves?
    Are moms and dads, together, actively trying to counter the messages that t.v. and other influences pound into our young people’s minds?

    Remember, every generation (though this one has it tougher) had to deal with peer pressure and society’s pressures/influences…but, with parents standing their ground and not giving up during the tough times (the teenage years), many of us came through those times intact and with good values to carry us forward.

    I think parents have given up…not just poor, but, worse yet, parents who have very little excuse (they have the money, many have the time, and the affluence) have also allowed children/teens to become way too independent, free-thinking, acting, etc…you never stop parenting and some of the most important times to talk, talk, talk, talk to your children is during their impressionable teen years. This is a difficult time…the potential of drugs, alcohol, and other abuses mixed in with the pressure of growing up, discovering yourself, and looking and planning for your future…when parents should be stepping up and going full force, it seems that in their children’s most important phase in life, parents are backing off, slowing down, and some, even just give up…

    I see it in stores, listening to the young white teens sarcastically tell their moms to “shut up” or roll their eyes, without any response on the parent’s part, except to ignore them or to appease them. I see it with poorer urban teens, whose parents may be working too hard or their parents could be too young and trusting their teens too much to be “adults” when they are not…

    Teen years are so dangerous, because they are old enough to do much of what they want, but still too naive to recognize the consequences…parents should be there to talk to them and share with them (from their own experiences) the stories of the consequences. They should be helping them set goals for themselves and shaping their aspirations…

    When I watch a t.v. show with my younger female relatives, I find myself commenting throughout the show…I do not watch silently with them. I ask them what they think of the outfits of the teen or adult women. I ask them why the young lady in the t.v. show or movie behaved a certain way and I constantly share my own thoughts throughout the episode or movie. I listen to their music and I comment on the messages of the songs. I ask the young ladies if they think the message is positive or negative and why? I ask them why they think these songs, t.v. shows, videos, movies portray these images and what they think the affect is on young ladies like themselves?

    I encourage all who are TRULY concerned about these issues to make the young ladies and young men they care about THINK. Think about why they want to dress or act a certain way. Ask them real questions and get them involved in analytical thinking skills (they will need these skills all of their lives). Instead of treating teens like mindless sheep, engage their minds and force them to make conscious choices with your input and perspective to assist them. Give them the wisdom that they lack. Show them how corporations market to people and how and why it works. Show them and teach them how they can be independent consumers, unique individuals, and encourage them to lead and not simply follow the pack.

    I pray that those who are so quick to blame other social groups rather than taking personal responsibility, will someday realize that blaming gets us very little. Our problems lies within us and by the lack of action. It is SO EASY to simply point fingers than to take on the task of making a difference. Boycott, write letters, start a movement, speak out, and don’t conform to the things you do not value. Don’t give up.

    Throughout history…has the scapegoating and stereotyping of a group ever resulted in a positive outcome for ANYONE???…it’s a simple-minded and easier way of dealing with issues, and therefore, like many things in life, we engage in it. But, the challenge is to do the tougher, more difficult things that make a real and positive impact. Nothing good ever comes easy.

    May God Bless you All…

    remember, all of us….every one of us (poor, rich, black, white, young, old, should be viewed as valuable and loved creations of God)…if you are truly Catholic or have a Christian or Godly way, then, you will work on the hate or ignorance that underlies much of stereotyping and you will try to explore and tackle real ways to resolve the problems that hurt all of us.

Leave a Reply