Catholic Exchange

Putting God First

No one could deny that this week's Gospel message is hard to take. St. Luke relates that Jesus tells us that "Anyone who comes to me without hating father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes and his own life, too, cannot be my disciple. No one who does not carry his cross and come after me can be my disciple." (Lk 14:26 NJB) As my pastor indicated in his sermon this Sunday, some of this is a rhetorical tool of exaggeration to make a point. There is no getting around the point, however. Discipleship is hard. The rewards are great, but the road is far from easy.

The past couple days, my children and I have been reading about St. Joan of Arc. St. Joan was a young girl living in France in the early fifteenth century. At the time, France and England were embroiled in the Hundred Years War. At age thirteen, she began to hear voices that carried messages from God. By the time she was seventeen, she was convinced that God wanted her to lead French troops in battle to aid King Charles VII of France. After much effort and passing a series of tests, the King finally believed her and she ultimately experienced many victories in battle. Eventually, however, she was captured and put on trial. She never recanted her statements about her visions. As a result, she was convicted as a heretic and burned at the stake in 1431. She was only nineteen years old. Exonerated of her crimes thirty years later, she was canonized in 1920.

 St. Joan obviously knew the cost of discipleship and was willing to pay the price. She was so young. It would have been easy for her to ignore the visions and voices. Her family and friends thought she was foolish. She had to persevere relentlessly to eventually get an audience with the King. It would have been so easy to give up, to go back home and live a quiet life as a French peasant. She might have been married and had children. She might have been "normal." Instead she said "yes" to God's plan, even to the point of giving up her life. She was willing to reject it all to do what God asked.

Lives of the Saints are filled with stories like Joan's — men and women willing to give up parents, children, siblings, and even their own lives to answer the call of discipleship. Thankfully, God does not ask such a high price of all of us. Most of us are able to serve God without having to give up our families and our lives. Yet, there is always a cost to discipleship, a rejection of some things in order to say "yes" to other, greater commitments. God is asking us to put Him first. It is well and good to love our families, but we need to love God more. We can hope that the request never comes, but if asked, we should be willing to give it all up for Him. He made us. Our lives are His. Our task, like St. Joan of Arc's, is to do what He commands.

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    I hope this isn't too long

    Thank you, L.Keebler

     

    St. Luke relates that Jesus tells us that "Anyone who comes to me without hating father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes and his own life, too, cannot be my disciple. No one who does not carry his cross and come after me can be my disciple." (Lk 14:26 NJB)

    This is not some exaggeration, some metaphor, Jesus really means it! Surprise, surprise, it is a hard statement to accept but so it was also when He said, John 6:53 So Jesus said to them, "Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.

    Jesus explains why we must hate all we have, all our possessions whether they be emotional attachments as we have to our loved ones, or if they be material possessions:

    Luke 14: 25 Now large crowds were traveling with him; and he turned and said to them, 26 "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, 30 saying, "This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' 31 Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. 33 So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions. 34 "Salt is good; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? 35 It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; they throw it away. Let anyone with ears to hear listen!"

    There is a certain “detachment” (as I have heard the word used before) from this world that is mandatory as a Christian, that is required in order to take up our cross and follow Christ. We must “estimate the cost” to see if we can truly be followers of Christ – could we really “hate” our family, even our lives? Could we really finish in our commitment to Him even to the point of rejecting everything and taking up our cross and following Him. But this is exactly what He says we must do, a decision we must make and know in our minds, not later but now. He was telling the large crowds that were traveling with Him, you must give up everything to be one of my disciples, you must turn your back on and reject all to follow me and you must make that decision now. He knew some were caught up in His teachings, that some wanted to be His disciples but that some would travel part way, maybe a long way, but then want to go back missing their families, their homes, their possessions. Christ was telling them plainly the cost of following Him. We must know in our hearts, in our minds, in all that we are that Christ is all and all, that He is everything. That everything of this world, even those we love, are “hated” if we had to choose. We would “hate” anything that would separate us from Him. And we “hate” anything now if it separates us from Him. This is how serious He is about our commitment to Him, about our “detachment” from the world. He wants us to know, to “estimate the cost” of following Him… there is a cost and it is all we know and love dearly in this world. So do we leave our families our jobs and pack up for a monastery. Of course not, He has not called us all to monastically life. He has called many of us to raise families and to be a light to others at our work, to Love Him above all else first and then to Love others. But in our commitment to Christ we have estimated the cost and put up in our spiritual bank account all we need to, (Luke 14:28 build a tower, Luke 14:31 go out to wage war) at the cost of all else, Luke 14:27 take up our cross and follow Christ.

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    I may be in error about this, but I recall hearing that in most cases, where our translation reads "So-and-so loved one, but hated another," a better interpretation might have been "So-and-so loved one more, and loved the other less." So I tend to think that what Jesus meant, like you, bkeebler, is that He must come before ALL other things. Not that we must despise all other things, but that we should love all other things less than Him, and to love them for His sake, and be ready to give them up for His sake, whenever it may become necessary.
    And what do you know? Bishop Paul Loverde just said much the same thing.

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    Part of the problem, of course, is that the connotations of "hate" are very different for us. It is often said that the opposite of love is not "hate" but "indifference" (which is perhaps better translated "detachment.")

    When I entered the Church, my decision was strongly resisted by friends and family to the point that I wondered if these relationships could be salvaged. I did not "hate" my family — it greatly pained me to see them in such turmoil — but I did have to detach from them for a time. Thank God, this did not last. Wisely, they applied the "Suspension of Judgment" principle Dr. Williams refers to, to the point where they attended my wedding … and danced at the reception.

    While bkeebler takes a slightly different (and more impassioned) rabbit trail, his conclusions are not substantively different from those of Patrice. Love God first, everything else comes after. Be willing to let go of anything that gets in the way of that first priority. Not with hate (which to most of us implies a different kind of emotional investment) but out of a desire to cling to that greater Love.

    Thanks for writing this, Patrice. St. Joan of Arc has always been one of my favorite saints.

    Heidi Hess Saxton Editor, "Canticle" Magazine Blogroll

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    Heidi Hess Saxton, Joan has always been one of favourite saints as well;  she's an inspiration to so many, and as Patrice says, put her commitment to God above all else.  At her trial, she was assailed by the "learned" theologians who couldn't grasp that a simple peasant girl such as Joan could even begin to understand her faith.  She said (and I'm paraphrasing) that "all that matters is Jesus Christ and the Church, everything else is [as we would say] so much icing on the cake."  Joan, in her forthrightness, honesty, and simplicity, is a model for all of us who sometimes can't see the woods for the trees.  Jesus does come before everything/everybody else — that's what it means to be a disciple.  Merci, ma belle Jeanne pour ton courage et ta fidelite; prie pour nous!

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    The 5th commandment is to "Honor thy father and thy mother". So I do not believe in my heart Christ would contradict himself and tell us on one hand to "Honor" our parents and then on the other to "hate" them. We can honor our parents as God commands but still "dislike intensely" (a common definition for hate) any attachment we may have or anything else that would keep us from "following Christ". Of course you wouldn’t for example tell your parents you hate them, God forbid! That is NOT honoring them. I think we must hate what holds us back, what turns us around when we are on the road traveling with Jesus. We must "hate" that which keeps us from Him. I see it sort of as the same as "Hate the sin, Love the sinner" although that is not to say your family is sinning, it may be your sin that is keeping you from following Christ. I think though, the word "hate" and not some milder word is used by Christ (translated as such) for a reason.

    l.keebler

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    More about the Cross we are expected to carry.

    The Cross We Carry & The Cross

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    Heidi, I understand your point, but I have to disagree with your interpretation.  "Detachment" and "indiference" are NOT the same thing.  Indiference simply couldn't care less.  That's why it's the opposite of "love"–love cares deeply (sometimes, too deeply).  Similarly, "hate" also cares deeply….just in the opposite direction.  In both, there is an emotional "investment".  In indiference, there is no emotional investment.

    In "detachment", one cares but not so deeply that it interferes with one's committment to God.  One trusts God to do what's best, and leaves the person/situation to His Perfect Will. 

    Hope that helps clarify.

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    Cooky… read my response again. I said the better translation for the opposite of love is "detachment" (though it is often said to be indifference). Thanks.

    Heidi Hess Saxton Editor, "Canticle" Magazine Blogroll

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