Catholic Exchange

Adventures in Pill Land

Written by

Nancy Guilfoy Valko RN

in

The Pill has gotten a lot of press lately. With the shameful Connecticut law forcing even Catholic hospitals to provide Plan B (an overdose of the birth control pill) to all rape victims, to the shocking disclosure that a Maine school board approved school nurses distributing the Pill to junior high students without parental consent or notification, the Pill is promoted as a panacea for all sorts of societal problems.

On a more personal level, during the last few years, the Pill has been marketed to young women as a way to help such difficulties as acne, premenstrual syndrome and, when taken continuously, a way to avoid the menstrual cycle entirely.

Not touted, of course, are the Pill's known dangers such as heart attacks, blood clots, and depression, to mention just a few. And there are now concerns about the Pill's association with some cancers, even breast cancers.1 But the pro-contraception "sexperts" continue to maintain that such problems are rare and that the benefits of the Pill still far outweigh the risks.

Until one of those "problems" happen to you or a loved one.

Of course, back in the 1970s when I was a newly engaged young woman, we didn't know there were any physical drawbacks to the Pill. My fiancé and I had heard about the encyclical Humanae Vitae and that Pope Paul VI wasn't in favor of the Pill but we were fuzzy on the specifics.

Having just signed on a new home, we felt we were not ready to start a family immediately after marriage but we did want to follow the Church's teaching. We knew that even priests were divided on the issue but, in the interest of fairness, we chose a priest at random from what would be our new parish.

"Father Jack" (not his real name) assured us that, in our situation, using the Pill was not a bad decision. He also said that not using artificial contraception was the ideal promoted by the pope's encyclical but as long as we intended to have children in the future, it was not a sin to use the Pill temporarily. This was exactly what we wanted to hear and I started taking the Pill one month before our marriage.

In those days before medication came with package inserts , I — as well as the rest of the women I knew — thought the Pill was 100% safe and effective. I was concerned when I immediately gained weight and had to be stuffed into my wedding dress, but weight gain was the only side effect of the Pill that I had ever heard about.

After marriage, I reveled in the fact that I was married to the man of my dreams but, inexplicably, I also had times when I felt really sad and even had random thoughts of suicide. I was worried but I never confided this to anyone. I assumed that such thoughts were the result of my lifestyle change, because I knew in my heart that I was happy.

Eighteen months after our marriage, my husband, a doctor himself, came home breathless and told me to immediately stop taking the Pill. He had just read a study on the dangers of the Pill and he said nothing was worth my possibly dying from a heart attack or stroke. The pills were trashed that day.

Within a short time, however, I suddenly realized that I was actually feeling good and that the suicidal thoughts had ceased. It finally occurred to me that it was the Pill itself that was affecting me. I never took it again.

I'd like to say that we stopped artificially contracepting that day, but that didn't happen. It wasn't until I was in my 30s and had a spiritual awakening when my third child was born with a life-threatening heart defect that I finally read Humanae Vitae and went to a Natural Family Planning (NFP) talk sponsored by the Couple to Couple League at my parish. What an eye-opener!

My husband and I were stunned by the truth when the instructor said that fertility is not a disease to be treated but rather a gift from God. We learned about the negative effects of the Pill and other artificial contraceptive methods. Most importantly, we learned about the physical, spiritual and emotional benefits of NFP.

My husband was concerned about the effectiveness of NFP in postponing pregnancy, especially since I had just had a C-section but, as I wryly told him, "I guess this is why they call it faith."

NFP worked beautifully for us and I became a big promoter. Our commitment as husband and wife became deeper and richer because of NFP. I was also delighted to know exactly when our next child was conceived and finally win a due date argument with my obstetrician.

I saw my doctor's new partner at my six-week checkup after Joy was born and I was shocked when he asked me what kind of artificial birth control I planned to use. I told him NFP but he responded by saying that NFP "was too hard". I told him it wasn't but he countered that it could be dangerous to take such a risk so soon after my fourth C-section. I told him the statistics on NFP, which proved that it was as least as effective as the Pill in postponing another pregnancy. I then went on to list the spiritual, emotional and physical benefits of NFP. I don't know if I convinced him but at least I planted a seed. I have since learned that even many pro-life doctors unfortunately prescribe the Pill and other artificial methods.

It wasn't until many years later that I also learned that the Pill may even cause silent abortions by sometimes preventing an embryo from implanting in the uterus.2

On the bright side, in the last several years NFP has also formed the basis for Natural Procreative Technology (also known as NaPro) that has allowed many couples who were thought to be infertile to finally have babies. NaPro is often a viable, as well as ethical, alternative to in vitro fertilization and other technologies. [See article on NaPro, "Health Care Women Really Need", by Sister Renee Mirkes in Voices, Pentecost 2006 — Editor.]

The late Pope John Paul II begged all of us to start a culture of life to counter the culture of death that we see today. Unfortunately, most polls show Catholics are just as likely to use artificial contraception as anyone else.

We need to recognize that abortion and euthanasia didn't just suddenly spring forth in our culture. The stage for these evils was set with the acceptance of the contraceptive mentality.

Notes
1 "The Pill and Breast Cancer Risk — Is Anyone Listening?", by Timothy P. Collins, MD, Ethics and Medics, March 2007. Online at: www.ncbcenter.org/em/0703-2.aspx (requires subscription.)
2 "Birth Control Pill: Abortifacient and Contraceptive" by William F. Colliton, MD, FACOG, American Association of Pro-life Obstetrician and Gynecologists. Online at: http://www.aaplog.org/collition.htm.

NFP resources:
Natural Family Planning resources compiled by Sara Fox Peterson, including Catholic Church teaching. Online at: http://www.catholicmom.com/nfpresources.htm.

The Creighton Fertility System Model. Online at: http://www.creightonmodel.com/

NaPro Technology, Pope Paul VI Institute. Online at: catholicinfertility.org/naprotechnology.html.

Comments

  1. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Where are the Catholic Exchange editors? (See fifth paragraph.) Paul VI was Pope in the 1970s; Pius VI was Pope from 1775 to 1799.

  2. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thank you!  This is fixed.

  3. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Let's pray for our bishops and priests who have been negligent on this issue.  Having lived in many dioceses over the last 20 years and having heard NO homilies on this issue, I can understand why the laity has contracepted as much as non catholics, about 95%. We need to pray for a change of heart for our religious leaders.

  4. Guest Avatar
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    Gena M.
    Father Michael Sherliza, of the Atlanta diocese, ends the mass with this:  "Let us pray for an end to abortion, euthenasia, and divorce in our society".  He's the most profound and inspiring priest.  God bless him and please pray for him as he is in ill health at this time.
  5. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Dear CE –

     

        Please edit the Pope reference so I can copy this off todday for our OCIA group – I have organized the annual Pro-Life/NFP talk for this group this weekend and this will be a great addition to the materials I give to them.  Thanks so much for all you do!!!  God Bless, KMc

  6. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    It is my experience that it is rare indeed to hear the Church's teaching on the moral evil of artificial contraception preached upon in a homily. 

    I have had Catholic friends who did not even know what the Church teaches regarding contraception. They had never heard it.

    Some of my non-Catholic friends have the idea that it is repeated constantly every Sunday. 

    genamiddleton,

    Fr. Sherliza sounds like a wonderful priest. Perhaps you could ask him to include a petition for an end to artificial contraception in his final blessing.

    Let's all ask the same of every one of our beloved priests!

  7. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thank you Nancy! I needed to read this.

    While it is true that we need to pray for a change of heart for our religious leaders mraiello, we also need to fulfill our baptismal call to continue in our Lord's 3-fold ministry of priest, prophet, and king. We are each called, in our circle of family and fiends to show leadership by educating ourselves and sharing the joy of our discoveries with others. I am, and suspect that most of us, are frequently guilty of pushing our faith to the side to focus on entertainment or material gain. Oh I don't mean I reject my faith I just get distracted…. a lot. So please pray for me and join me in praying for those like me who get distracted, that God may draw us deeper into the science of the saints so we may become the salt and light to convert our world from the culture of death to the Gospel of Life, one heart at a time.

  8. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thanks CE and Nancy for this rare treat of the truth.  I do dig NFP and what it is capable of doing.  My wife and I teach CCL and know that the world will be a better place when NFP is more popular.

    GK – God is good!

  9. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    PTR,

    Not to be confrontational, knowing that more attention is needed by parish priests in regard to informing the faithful, but how often do you hear racism preached upon? My parish is mostly white, middle class and I have heard many comments that are racist in nature but have never heard or can recollect our pastor{s} speaking about the immorality of racism and all the evil that can come of it.

    I would proffer that the message you seek is preached constantly, even if the words "contraception is wrong" are not used. In this age of information at an instant and technology to retrieve such while doing a handstand on top of the Empire State building, culpability lies directly with the ignorant who, by no fault other than their own, choose to woefully remain so.

    And the ignorance goes for the Catholic and non-catholic alike.

    In Christ,

    Remember, the Sun is always shining!

  10. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    A good article, but not a complete picture of the problem of contraception.  Yes, NFP is an alternative to artificial contraceptives, which are morally unacceptable (I would say sinful but am not sure if that is a word anymore).  The problem with NFP, which I have seen firsthand, is that many people are using it to the same ends as contraception.  The statement that NFP is as effective at preventing pregnancy as the pill illustrates this.  Is that really the goal;  to have the least amount of children as possible and still be in the good graces of the Church?  As Christians we are called to "go forth and multiply".  Never before has this been as important as it is now, in a world being over-run with secularism and militant Islam.  I know NFP couples who have two children just like the couple before them in the communion line using BC.  We will be judged by our fruits, not by our ability to navigate church teachings!

    Andrew James – father of eight and counting.

  11. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Andrew,

    I believe you err in your interpretation of Genesis.

    I dare say the Church has put its nihil obistat and imprimatur on NFP. In other words, NFP doesn't {circum}navigate Church teaching, it is Church teaching.

    You will be judged by your fruits, not by the quantity of your fruit, but by the quality.

    In Christ,

    Remember, the Sun is always shining!

  12. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    DTG,

    It is very surprising to me that you hear many comments that are racist in nature at your parish.

    The demographics and nature of discourse in my parishes have been quite different, but you make a good point. There are other teachings of the Church rarely mentioned as well. 

    The singular difference with artificial birth control is that it is it is a central life issue, and thereby distinctively foundational, upon which other issues must necessarily rest.  If the procreation of one's human life is denied or thwarted before one is allowed to be born, then whatever other treatment one might receive based upon one's race is not an issue.

    How we respect our fecundity is also unique in how God has revealed to us how we are to act. Recall Onan in Genesis 38:3-10. 

    It is also different because of the scale of the problem. Over 95% of self professed Catholics engage in artificial birth control. By contrast, it is rare that I hear people making racist remarks. I can not recall ever hearing someone make a racist remark in a Catholic church setting.

    My personal experiences are admittedly limited.

  13. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    PTR,

    …and yet you have heard someone making an "I use contraception" remark in a Catholic Church setting?

    My point was, and thank you for getting it without being offended, that the "central life issue" – Jesus – is being discussed daily and that, I believe, if one cared to know about Church teaching one would know.

    Does your parish support NFP? Is there an NFP program being run in your parish? If the answer is yes, then you have accomplished more than a sermon ever will. If not, ask and the door will be opened. If it is not {pray}knock harder. 

    Also, the statistic you cite is misleading. What are you trying to say when you write, '95% of self professed Catholics engage in artificial birth control'?

    Remember, the Sun is always shining!

  14. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Andrew,

    First, God bless you for having all of your 8 wonderful children.  They are each a blessing and a everlasting soul!  I have six children.  My wife and I also use and teach NFP.  I know first hand people who use NFP as it is designed.  They do not use it in a contraceptive fashion at all.  It is beautiful and full of God's goodness and grace. 

    I know you know that anything can be used in a sinful manner, even a kiss.  (Judas Iscariot)  Even NFP can be used, as you clearly spelled out.  But, NFP is not inherantly sinful like contraception.  NFP can be sinful but isn't so by design.  And NFP is miles and miles away from contraception.  For if NFP was the same as contraception … doctors would be prescribing it and people would be using it.  Sure NFP, if used properly, provides the same effectiveness as the pill.  But, NFP requires abstinence, discipline, love, understanding, and spousal communication to acheive the same end.  And NFP can be stopped right now with no side affects.  And every act of sexual intercourse is open to life.

    Condemn the sinful acts because they turn from God … but do not stop NFP because NFP at the very least requires abstinence.  Abstinence builds character and welcomes grace.  Gods grace changes everything.  Contraception on the other "hand" requires nothing.  Contraception rejects abstinence and grace of any sort.  Contraceptive acts are lifeless pleasure acts.  Please do not confuse NFP itself with contraception.  Confusion does a great diservice to those who practice NFP as well as they can.

    Humanae Vitae says "With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time." Section 10, Paragraph 4.

    God's peace to you, your wife and your 8 children.  Your family is a tribute to life and love and Christ.

    GK – God is good!

  15. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    PTR,

    As I was reflecting on your reference to Onan, I could not help but see how in every evil thing God creates good. For when Onan was not obedient to the law, and God smote him, God then gave to us another in the legacy that would lead to His Son, Jesus. Out of unrighteousness did God produce righteousness.

    In Christ, 

    Remember, the Sun is always shining!

  16. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    I don't think that Andrew was confusing NFP and contraception. And while I know of many people out there who use NFP for serious (and therefore justifiable) reasons, all too often, people seem to misunderstand that the "default mode," if you will, is "have another baby." In other words, without a serious reason to avoid pregnancy, people should not automatically be using NFP. (Yes, I know that you can use NFP to achieve pregnancy…that's another issue altogether.) I have seen articles and heard/read plenty of comments from people who do not seem to get this very basic issue. So many people talk about NFP and how they're using it to "perfectly" plan everything…and that God might have a different plan seems to be left out of the picture.

     

  17. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Unlike contraceptive methods, NFP can also be used specifically to conceive a child. I have friends who married late, and used NFP in order to try to have children quickly. They concieved 2 months after their marriage –  a shorter period than most newly-weds in their early 40's. (They now have 2 daughters under the age of three.)

    NFP, as a technique, gives a couple information. Whether they use that information well or badly is up to them.   

  18. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Stacey,

    I see your and Andrew's logic.  It is fallen human nature to cheat and take the easy way and sin.  Your point is well taken but I do not think this point should obliterate NFP as a way of grace filled life.  NFP does not support the culture of death by default!  Contraception supports the culture of death.  I would even say that Contraception is the root system of the culture of death.  NFP does not sneak around corners or cheat God or life … unless one wants to sin anyway.  And if one is going to sin, why work so hard and abstain with NFP when one could just have sex anytime with Contraception.

    Default mode as you describe it is wonderful (have another baby)!  When people learn to love God and life as it is meant to be, the world will be much closer to the Kingdom of Heaven.  I am all for that world and all for making that occur.  And that "default mode" is one of the many reasons why I have embraced NFP. 

    Because, as a society, we are so far away from "default mode", it is scary.  I'd say the "small difference" between default mode and today's Catholic is a chasm of earth that rips accross the soul that is as deep, wide and rocky as the Grand Canyon. 

    If you will for our society … default mode is on the other side of the grand canyon.  Asking a society that thinks "life is evil" to simply jump over to the other side is sure to keep people where they are comfortable. 

    NFP is at a minimum the bridge over the grand canyon.  (It is much more than just a bridge … we can get into that if you'd like.  But for the moment we'll just see it as a bridge).  Without NFP people have been happy to stay on this contraceptive side of the grand canyon where the "default mode" is "have no babies at all, lots of 'responsability free' sex and use abortion as a last resort."  They have been told by Priests and Bishops that it is fine, even though the church teaches Humanae Vitae.

    Now, when people go to use NFP, they hear that it is evil and the same as Contraception.  But, that is completely wrong.  NFP practiced properly is miles and miles away from contraception.  NFP, practiced propely and infused with a life based on the sacraments … can only lead to openness to life and "have another baby" mode. 

    Every month the couple is faced with the natural draw of sexual intercourse during the woman's fertile period.  If they remain pure and abstain, they will grow in grace and in love.  How can a married couple grow in grace and love and resist the call by God to have a baby?  NFP walks couples down the road of virtue every month.  It takes no short cuts nor provides any pleasure nor provides physical union that love calls out for.  NFP asks each of them, is it really worth it to abstain when you love so much and naturally want to express that.  Contraception doesn't ask anything.  Contraception dulls everything.  Contraception confuses genders and grinds life into dust.

    GK – God is good!

  19. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Because of her irregular cycle, the doctor insisted that my 15 year old daughter go on the pill to regulate her body. I said NO WAY. It took a nurse midwife to be honest with us about how our bodies work and affirm that no pill was necessary. My daughter may never be "regular", but she has learned that she can trust her own body, and that drugs are not always the answer. I know I'm one of few mothers (much less Catholic mothers) who would reject such a preposterous recommendation. Nancy is absolutely correct in her comments about how pervasive the use of the pill is for things other than contraception, especially for younger girls — maybe that's because the doctors all assume our little girls will be in the sack anyway, so they find any reason they can to prescribe the pill…

    Thank you for your aritcle, Nancy. And thanks to all who have commented on NFP.

     

    "The Catholic Church frames the Christian life as one in which you must exercise virtue—not because virtue saves you, but because that's the way God's grace gets manifested." Dr. Francis J. Beckwith

  20. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Regarding NFP:

    Couple to Couple League has changed, somewhat, the meaning of NFP.  They now say

    1.) NFP is fertility awareness.  

    2.) Responsible parenthood is the virtuous application of fertility awareness.

    I feel much more comfortable with the new emphasis than the old "NFP is 97% effective in avoiding pregnancy."  Although CCL would say my husband and I used NFP to space children because of my extended breastfeeding I never felt like I could stand before a class of NFP students and claim to practice NFP (My 11 children spaced every 22 months prove how we approach "Phase II", the fertile phase. MOST young couples are learning NFP to avoid pregnancy.) 

    When I am asked if a couple is obliged to seek pregnancy or at least not avoid "phase II" in every cycle, I can now reference the clarity in CCL's new emphasis.  Only the couple, standing before God, knows if they are applying the knowledge of Fertility Awareness virtuously in light of responsible parenthood. 

    For example, one woman might say, "I know I should be more patient and I'd be able to handle more children."  Yes, with God's grace we can all be perfected.  However, we all grow in holiness along our own path of perfection.  Therefore, perhaps the woman should space the next pregnancy until she has become emotionally healthier.  (I don't know the answer, she and her husband do.) God knows her heart and will judge whether or not she and her husband selfishly applied fertility awareness so she wouldn't have to grow in patience.  However, if she did become pregnant while trying to space using NFP, I know a person striving for holiness would be given the gifts necessary to be a holy mother.

    My husband and I are not "providentialists" as some call people who don't keep track of their fertility and accept children as God sends them.  We consciously determine whether we have serious reasons to avoid accepting another child into our lives.  In this way, we exercise responsible parenthood and are intelligent actors in the decision to cooperate with God in procreation during any given cycle.

    As I recently explained to my children, "Nothing is free."  The cost of adding my newborn, Annaliese, is a period of chaos and exhaustion. (Not to mention several thousand dollars!)  The price of my easy routine and a good night's sleep is not having her eternal soul. She is worth the price.  NFP allows a couple to determine if they have "money in the bank".  Because of the grace from living in God's Will, NFP also, lets God float the couple a permanent "loan" if they need it.  After all, Jesus paid the price once for all with his blood.

  21. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    My only issue with CCL's definition of NFP is that it seems to say that if you are not using some form of fertility awareness, then you are, by definition, being irresponsible.

    Now, I know some people who are providentialists in the absolute strictest sense of the word…they may have what most people would view as serious reasons that they could use to avoid pregnancy, but they do not avoid pregnancy. They believe that the gift of a child outweighs whatever other challenges that they face. It's not like they are going into it blindly. I don't believe that is necessarily irresponsible, even though I might choose, under the same circumstances, to try to avoid getting pregnant.

    And I know other people who do not feel that they have a serioius reason to avoid pregnancy, and therefore are just enjoying each other and are prepared to accept whatever children God sends them. Or doesn't. A lack of charting does not make that irresponsible, either.

    So while I think that NFP can be used properly and is in no way equivalent to contraception, I also believe that a couple who is using NFP properly is receiving graces to live their married life because of the fact that they are seeking to do God's will, rather than because they are using NFP. I think that's a very important distinction.

  22. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    I also do not intend to be confrontational and I know this isn't the point of this article and discussion (I can't help myself)…and bless you all who have many children…but there ARE those of us who, for reasons known only to God..do not have many children through no fault of our own. We have two beautiful children and that seems to be all the Lord is going to bless us with. Many people assume that we, having a boy and a girl, do not desire any more children and are "preventing" any others from being born (after all, many people think a boy and a girl is a "perfect" family). This is certainly not the case for us nor for our friends with one child who discovered the mother had uterine cancer and ended up with a hysterectomy. I just wanted to point out that not all Catholics with one or two children are contracepting! God bless you all and may NFP overrun our churches!

  23. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Sdelange,

    I understand, I really do. We have 4 children, which seems like a large family in most places we go, but our parish (we've been going there since June) has an average of probably 6 or 7 children per family and most of the smaller families are just getting started! It's the first place I've been where I feel like I ought to be making excuses for only having 4, even though no one has ever said anything or even seemed to be wondering why my youngest is 8 when we are still young enough to be having more.

  24. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Thank you both for the reminder of why we should never make assumptions or judgements about others when we do not know their circumstances. I know personally know couples who might look like they stopped at 2 or 3 or 4 but who are struggling with secondary infertility or health problems no one else knows about.

  25. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    NFP cannot be considered evil, all it is is information or knowledge about your body and how it works.  I believe it would do good for all young women and men to learn NFP.  That being said we can use this information to go against Gods will, nobody can deny that.  The real question we have to ask ourselves is.  What is Gods will for us as married couples?

    Mary and Joseph were chosen to be pure and remain virgins, so we know that abstanance can be a good and healthy thing for a marriage.  But we also must acknowledge that we are not Mary or Joseph and Gods call to them is ,most likely, alot different than his call for us.  If we are called to marriage, we can be assured that we are also called to have children.  If we truly love God, we should do his will even if it isn't convenient.

    I was pondering today as I looked at my 5th child.  He was just born this week.  I told my wife that it has been a struggle having all these children but that I wouldn't trade it for the world.  They are so beautiful and truly gifts from God.  It must be a great joy for the Lord to create such masterpieces.  I also told her that we wouldn't have this many children and be so open to life if we didn't believe our true home was heaven and not this earth.  We would have stopped at 2 and said we did our good deed for God now we can be done.  But I really believe that many Catholics and other Christians may not ever get see God based on there view that they are now done.  Ave Maria

  26. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    Responding to this quote: "Not touted, of course, are the Pill's known dangers such as heart attacks, blood clots, and depression, to mention just a few. And there are now concerns about the Pill's association with some cancers, even breast cancers":  As a former Labor and Delivery nurse I can recall 2 instances when women who had just given birth had cardiac events, one of which was a heart attack. THe cause for neither could be explained by lifestyle or pregnancy 'effects'…Also, of course the side effects of BCP's are swept under the carpet of carpe diem because the same pill makers can sell an anti-depressant. Think of all the women on higher dosages in the earliest decades of BCP's…mixed in with those who used BCP's but found out firsthand that it was not 100% effective and thus 'necessitated' an abortion. With so many variables the cause or causes of side effects can get lost and since such a study might cast this lifestyle choice in a poor light and hence sell less product, from where will the funding for studies to illuminate the ills of these detrimental substances come? Oh, there's another industry attached to the pills and they advertise to the youngsters online with the added benefit of healthy, improved skin. Naturally, the face conscious teen that learns of ANYTHING that improves image problem will want to 'try' it to see. No warning labels on the website. Nada.

  27. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    My wife and I have used NFP since we were married 15 years ago.  We have found that the culture is vastly and profoundly against an 'openness to life".  Like many of you with more than the acceptable 2 children, I'm sure that you have heard your share of rude comments and grocery checkout confessions ("I wanted another child but I just can't handle three, what with the Lexus only having room for two car seats.." – okay I added that last part 🙂  Anyway, after prayerful petition, we have asked God to bless us with like-minded friends and an opportunity to positively affect our Catholic (and non-Catholic) communities.  The opportunity lies in the Society of Joyful Hope (www.societyofjoyfulhope.com) a Catholic lay apostolate bringing like-minded families together for support.  We meet each week to pray the Rosary with our children (the children lead) and we receive spiritual refreshment as we revel in our larger-than-average families.  When we hear of a couple expecting a child, we try to call or visit them with encouraging words and when a family welcomes a new child, we organize a meal wheel and bring them a basket of food, prayer cards, and love.  Our little group has grown and grown and has begun to spread everywhere! We simply show each other and the world our love for our children and our openness to God's will.  We also help each other with prayer and help during those frustrating days.  I truly believe that the answer to our cultural crisis is in the family and that God blesses a community of families that help each other to live His Word.        

  28. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    With regard to fertility awareness, I don't think people are morally obliged to observe and track it.  In fact, some "green" folks track it just to use a barrier method during the fertile times.

    Personally, I learned to observe and track my fertility on my own using various sources long before I had even heard of CCL. (I had a vague knowledge of Billings Method).  I think women should have a clear understanding of their fertility signs and symptoms so they can monitor their health and understand the cyclical changes of their body.  Many women misread normal fertility signs as signs of infection and disorder. Of course, FA can also be used to plan pregnancies and date conceptions.

    The pill overrides a woman's natural fertility.  Women coming off the pill cannot even observe cervical fluid signs for a period of time.  Furthermore, the synthetic hormones do not break down as quickly in the environment like natural estrogens.  Therefore, the pill is a major source of water pollution.  (amphibians are the bellweather animal for this effect.) It is downright scarey to know females of all ages are put on the pill without a thought given (acne, weight, cycle issues,….)  While the pharmaceutical comapanies and their shareholders are raking in the big bucks, who knows how women will suffer physically and emotional in  the years to coms. 

    Because of my knowledge of fertility patterns, I can rejoice and thank God that we can observe how "fearfully and wonderfully made" we humans are.

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    Stacey,

    "So while I think that NFP can be used properly and is in no way equivalent to contraception, I also believe that a couple who is using NFP properly is receiving graces to live their married life because of the fact that they are seeking to do God's will, rather than because they are using NFP. I think that's a very important distinction."

    I agree completely.  And would like to state clearly that NFP itself doesn't make it moral!  And any NFP users that rub others in the face, as if NFP is the only way to morally run a family, are wrong headed I'm-so-good-ers.

    Thanks and God bless!

     

    theshadids,

    You post is great.  I will look into the Society of Joyful Hope (http://www.societyofjoyfulhope.com).  That sounds wonderful!

    GK – God is good!

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    My only issue with CCL's definition of NFP is that it seems to say that if you are not using some form of fertility awareness, then you are, by definition, being irresponsible.

    I have heard several CCL talks pertaining to responsible parenthood. The term may well originate with Paul VI in Humane Vitae; there is an entire section (#10) which discusses it in detail. The term does not refer to the popular notion that a responsible parent only has those children he can afford to care for in a materialistic sense.

    Two specific definitions of responsible parenthood come directly from HV #10 (emphases mine):

    With regard to the biological processes, responsible parenthood means an awareness of, and respect for, their proper functions.

    With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.

    Inasmuch as biological parenthood is concerned, responsibility requires awareness and respect for proper functions. The specific form of that awareness can be what the couple decides, as long as the proper respect (meaning, at a minimum, proper moral practice) is present. The use of birth control demonstrates objective disrespect for the proper functions of the marital embrace. NFP, in contrast, demonstrates proper respect. So also does no fertility awareness: awareness that sex leads to children and that one is open to receiving those children suffices.

    The second HV citation above is equally important because it directly contradicts the popular notion of responsibility in parenthood. Responsible parents are those who are aware that the marital embrace can bring children, remain open to that possibility, and then do one of three things:

    1) Apply specific knowledge to limit the probability of conception (applying NFP, i.e. fertility awareness, to postpone conception).

    2) Apply specific knowledge to increase the probability of conception (applying NFP, i.e. fertility awareness, to become pregnant).

    3) Let God handle all the application of knowledge (no BC, no NFP; I have heard this called supernatural family planning).

    CCL's talks cite John Paul II's application of this same principle. I recall one of the talks discussing how John Paul applies the term responsible parenthood only to the means, not the ends, of parenthood. In other words, the specific number of children (even if its 12 or 13) is less important than the proper respect given to by husbands to wives and wives to husbands as living images of God – and to God as the source of human dignity and fertility.

    Thus, given the definitions of Paul VI, John Paul II, and CCL, there is nothing implicit in the term responsible parenthood that requires specific fertility awareness (such as that offered by NFP). Rather, such specific fertility awareness provides a means of exercising responsible parenthood, but it is not the only means. Other moral means exist, such as a simple awareness within marriage that respects the generative functions and the possibility of children. This latter example is also objectively responsible when applied.

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    My only issue with CCL's definition of NFP is that it seems to say that if you are not using some form of fertility awareness, then you are, by definition, being irresponsible.

    More succinctly, CCL does not define NFP so narrowly that only specific fertility awareness enters into the definition. Indeed, the opposite is true.

    In other words, if husband and wife let the children come, and come, and come, and come, and come… indeed they are being responsible. 

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